Monday, January 03, 2011

New Year

Ahhhh! It is a New Year! It is 2011! A year filled with so many numbers that it blows the mind. The first day was 1-1-11! Larz's birthday is 1-11-11 (and lots of shows are debuting that night). This has got to be VJs lucky year 11-11-11! Too bad it's not like his first year on the job or something like that. I love it.

I have also been super crabby and irritable. I have been trying to hold it in, but it squeezes out the sides and blasts anyone who gets close. It's like a pb&j sandwich that you press together too hard and it oozes out the sides is my anger. I can feel it sometimes filling in all the little dark holes. Sometimes when there is a lot going on, I can feel that jelly that is my anger soaking into the bread giving me this odd "DON'T CUSS WITH ME" energy that people can feel a mile away. On the surgace I am perfectly pleasant, but underneath is this tumultous chasm of seething anger and annoyance.

Can't say anything.
Don't want to upset anyone.
Just want to be happy and calm.
What is that? Where is it? Can I find it? Is it possible?
This can't be me.
I am more than this . . . . . . . .

Anyway, it is a great day to be alive and I am truly thankful for my life, because it could be a whole lot worse than what it is.


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