snow day

Today was a waste of a snow day!  The roads were clear and the weather was cold, but there was no wind or anything to speak of . . . so tonight it will probably ice up and we will be stuck inside tomorrow for real.  sigh. . . .

Maybe I am an idiot?

Well, tomorrow I start my internship.  My teacher called me today to tell me that if the school was closed for snow I didn't have to come.  That worries me a little.  Does she think I am an idiot?  I mean seriously have her previous interns and field 3 students been so brain dead that they braved the ice (this is generally what we get when they say snow) and went to the school?  And if her previous interns have been such idiots how is she going to treat me?  I mean as I think about this I am really worried.

Other than that, I am really excited!  I love little kids.  And I think with the pace of their schedule losing weight should be no big deal!!!  Woohoo!

seminar

So for the last two days, we have been in a seminar.  I really and truly don't mind sitting around learning things that are really interesting or that I did not know and that could help me. . . The last two days were anything but that.  And they told us another lie that all the supervisors heard the same information and will communicate that to us.  All in good time.  Now there might be some things that are not clear about me.  One I am extremely organized, two I am extremely analytical and three I am a kinesthetic visual learner.  It makes my life cuss at times, but what are you gonna do, you are who you are.  Now the last two days did nothing for me as learner.  I sat there bored, fidgeting and trying not to text or sing or get up and walk around.  If I have nothing to do, I will find something!  Well, I guess I fudged a little . . . out of eight hours of seminar I did learn some questions to ask when I participate in a job interview.  The rest could have been sent to me in an email.  Today was a complete waste of time as it gave me information that would have been more helpful last semester.  And then to top it all off the most helpful information was shoved in at the end when we only had half the time that was originally allotted for this information.  Sigh.

Curly Nikki | Natural Hair Styles and Curly Hair Care: Decoding Natural Hair Products

Curly Nikki Natural Hair Styles and Curly Hair Care: Decoding Natural Hair Products: "A Rough Guide to Hair Product Naming Conventions by Joyful Mom of Happy Girl Hair A reader (Hi Sarah!) emailed me with a terrific question..."

I generally linked to this so I could find it later! haha

Sleep

Ok. So I sat in front of this doctor today. He is one of those who crosses his legs and listens very seriously to everything you say even though it is very funny. Then he says something funny, but with a serious face so do I laugh?!!!!? I smiled politely and nodded though I really wanted to laugh. Dr. Cohen says that I do have sleep apnea, but my insurance company says that I must do the sleep study. I will sleep at this place tomorrow night and Wednesday night. I didn't ask if I could bring my laptop. Maybe I will take Gerrell's. He's not supposed to have it during the week anyway. Plus I am going late enough at night that he will not need it.

I have to wash my hair and not put anything on it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING ON MY HAIR!!!! No shea butter, no leave in conditioner, no hot six oil! What will my hair look like? I am transitioning to natural and I plan to let it transition out until my natural hair is as long as my permed hair. I like my hair around my shoulders and that is what I am going to do. Anyway. . . . Nothing on my hair. I am quite satisfied with my hair the way it is right now. So nice and soft and moisturized! Sigh. Nothing on my hair. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

Now if I start getting really good sleep and still don't feel better, I am going to go back to the doctor. I know that some of it is my diabetes. I have got to get that under better control. And I plan on doing that starting tomorrow. I am going to be like a demon with checking and checking and checking my blood sugars and making sure that I take insulin before I eat, not after I have started. Anyway, there are numerous problems that I hope to take care of in the future and just feel better. I want to feel better. I am going to feel better.

New Year

Ahhhh! It is a New Year! It is 2011! A year filled with so many numbers that it blows the mind. The first day was 1-1-11! Larz's birthday is 1-11-11 (and lots of shows are debuting that night). This has got to be VJs lucky year 11-11-11! Too bad it's not like his first year on the job or something like that. I love it.

I have also been super crabby and irritable. I have been trying to hold it in, but it squeezes out the sides and blasts anyone who gets close. It's like a pb&j sandwich that you press together too hard and it oozes out the sides is my anger. I can feel it sometimes filling in all the little dark holes. Sometimes when there is a lot going on, I can feel that jelly that is my anger soaking into the bread giving me this odd "DON'T CUSS WITH ME" energy that people can feel a mile away. On the surgace I am perfectly pleasant, but underneath is this tumultous chasm of seething anger and annoyance.

Can't say anything.
Don't want to upset anyone.
Just want to be happy and calm.
What is that? Where is it? Can I find it? Is it possible?
This can't be me.
I am more than this . . . . . . . .

Anyway, it is a great day to be alive and I am truly thankful for my life, because it could be a whole lot worse than what it is.

Mwah!