So so so many memories from when I was younger hit my brain with a visceral intensity that sometimes I have a difficult time remembering. I can feel the sun. I can feel the sweat pulling my glasses to the tip of my nose so slowly I don't notice. I can feel the breath in my lungs struggling to moce as a ran away from the "It" who chased me with a vengeance and wrath you would only see battle. I can feel all of that in this game of tag played for hours in the hot Mississippi sun. I can remember all of those feelings. I can remember our neighborhood (when I was in the city) was always full of children running around and playing.
And a battle it was because we were playing a complicated game of tag. This game of tag was epic! It spanned four blocks of a neighborhood. There were upwards of 20 children of various ages playing. There were at least 3 "It's". Some of us were barefoot running without thought for the great harm that may befall a naked foot on black tar and hard grass. Some of us should not have been out there running in the sun and it was indeed way to hot! But we were out their as children seeing and being seen.
We learned so much in this word playing these games. We learned about setting and respecting boundaries. We learned that some people will care when you are hurt and others will taunt you. We learned how to avoid fights or how to fight. We learned about to make compacts with people to develop strategies to win and get back to home base. We learned that you are not going to be friends with every kid in town, but you can still play a game with them. We learned how to defeat our boredom with our imaginations. We learned through interactions with others in a variety of ages and settings.
Does this mean that I am against kids behind screens or on the internet. I am not. The internet can provide kids with rich meaningful learning opportunities. They can make friends with people all across the country. What all this means is that children must be provided with a wide variety of experiences to mold their brains. They need experiences that cause them to have to use their words. They need experiences that increase their ability to strategize and to win and lose gracefully. They need experiences that teach them to protect their boundaries and to respect other people's boundaries. Respect and good manners need not fall due to children not wanting to look "soft". The dangers to children these days are also a little different than when I was younger. Children these days need to be monitored closely and explicitly TAUGHT how to be aware of the dangers. The kids are everywhere.
I listen to children everyday whose ideas are not traditional. Who look at the information presented to them and generally will come up with something completely different from what I am presenting, but it will still relate to what I am talking about. They have learned through targeted social and emotional training that they don't have to share every toy, but some toys they do. They have learned how to accept no politely and with respect even when their feelings are hurt. They are continuing to learn how to deal with those big feelings that have no place to go for them except out in aggression. They are learning that they are more than their behaviors - so much more. They are continuing to learn how to ask for want they want. They are a hidden population, because they have "special needs". They will rarely get that feeling of playing outside in the sun (drinking out of someone's hose) that they will carry with them for a lifetime.
Where are the kids? I ask! The kids are everywhere and we have to join them where they are. We have to join them in their spaces and make space for their thoughts and ideas and mistakes.
